the beautifully worthless

When I first moved to Brooklyn, I got a job bartending brunch at a local brewery-restaurant. It was excrutiatingly slow a lot of the time, so I really got a chance to know my fellow servers. Just the other day, I was remembering the fierce wit of a woman named Ali. She discovered that the best response to any customer complaint was to say, "Touché."

"This french toast isn't cooked all the way through."
"Touché."

"My beer tastes like it was poured through old socks."
"Touché."

"My child can only eat sugar-free food. What do you have on the menu that's sugar-free?"
"Touché."

It was perfect. Ali was a writer - unpublished, as we all were then - and I remember her wanting to write a book about waitressing, which I always thought would be brilliant in her hands. I lost touch with her after we both left the brewery, but I've thought of her often when I've told the "Touché" story. So you can imagine my delight when I discovered her book, The Beautifully Worthless, reviewed in the latest issue of Bookslut. Buy it. You won't be disappointed. I haven't even read it, but I know.
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