no milk will be allowed

I'm back in semi-full teaching swing, so I enjoyed these Tips for You People That Have to Teach English Composition. (The English teacher in me makes me want to change that 'that' to 'who'.)

4.) On the fourth day of class mention that you know Jeff Goldblum.

5.) On the fifth day of class teach a covenant of peace and then attack. Ensure your heart has been strung tight. Sharpen the arrows of your mind. Take aim. Higher. Much higher. Pull back, hold…release.

6.) On the sixth day of class bring a strong fermented milk, of horse or goat or tiger. While drinking the milk, announce no milk will be allowed in the classroom.