like a slug in a sandpaper trenchcoat

While Bulwer Lytton's ancestors may not approve, the annual winners for the worst opening sentence have been announced. Garrison Spik is the winner:

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."

Via WI