Sunday, March 04, 2007

sunday short stack


"People are like birds: on the wing, all beautiful; up close, all beady little eyes." - Mignon McLaughlin


Saturday, March 03, 2007

save the stand-alone section

Over at LAist, Callie Miller has a rundown of the LA Times Book Award Finalists. It pretty much goes without saying who I want in the fiction category. Now if the LA Times could just get it together when it comes to their book coverage.

Friday, March 02, 2007

his brainchild now consorts with the bad guys

I've been wanting to post a link for awhile now to the incredibly enjoyable series going on over at Slate: Clive's Lives, a selection of essays on twentieth-century thinkers, movers, and shakers from Clive James's new book Cultural Amnesia: Necessary Memories from History and the Arts. It was this week's entry that finally got me off my cyberduff: Alexandra Kollontai and the flaws of Soviet feminism.

A famous figure among the Old Bolsheviks, Kollontai was a sad case, and sadder still because it is so hard to weep for her. Her career is a harsh reminder that feminism is, or should be, a demand for justice, not an ideology. It should not consider itself an ideology and it should be very slow to ally itself with any other ideology, no matter how progressive that other ideology might claim to be. Kollontai was an acute and lastingly valuable analyst of the restrictions and frustrations imposed on women by the conventional morality of bourgeois society. Fifty years later, Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer did not say much that Kollontai had not said first, even if they said it better—as they were bound to do, because they were proposing feasible modifications to a society already developed, whereas she was trying to make herself heard over the roar of chaos.

Previous entries in Clive's Lives include Anna Akhmatova, Dick Cavett, Duke Ellington, and Terry Gilliam. I can't mention Clive James without citing one of my favorite poems, "The Book of Enemy Has Been Remaindered":

The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I am pleased.
In vast quantities it has been remaindered
Like a van-load of counterfeit that has been seized
And sits in piles in a police warehouse,
My enemy's much-prized effort sits in piles
In the kind of bookshop where remaindering occurs.
Great, square stacks of rejected books and, between them, aisles
One passes down reflecting on life's vanities,
Pausing to remember all those thoughtful reviews
Lavished to no avail upon one's enemy's book --
For behold, here is that book
Among these ranks and banks of duds,
These ponderous and seeminly irreducible cairns
Of complete stiffs.

The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I rejoice.
It has gone with bowed head like a defeated legion
Beneath the yoke.
What avail him now his awards and prizes,
The praise expended upon his meticulous technique,
His individual new voice?
Knocked into the middle of next week
His brainchild now consorts with the bad buys
The sinker, clinkers, dogs and dregs,
The Edsels of the world of moveable type,
The bummers that no amount of hype could shift,
The unbudgeable turkeys.

Yea, his slim volume with its understated wrapper
Bathes in the blare of the brightly jacketed Hitler's War Machine,
His unmistakably individual new voice
Shares the same scrapyart with a forlorn skyscraper
Of The Kung-Fu Cookbook,
His honesty, proclaimed by himself and believed by others,
His renowned abhorrence of all posturing and pretense,
Is there with Pertwee's Promenades and Pierrots--
One Hundred Years of Seaside Entertainment,
And (oh, this above all) his sensibility,
His sensibility and its hair-like filaments,
His delicate, quivering sensibility is now as one
With Barbara Windsor's Book of Boobs,
A volume graced by the descriptive rubric
"My boobs will give everyone hours of fun."

Soon now a book of mine could be remaindered also,
Though not to the monumental extent
In which the chastisement of remaindering has been meted out
To the book of my enemy,
Since in the case of my own book it will be due
To a miscalculated print run, a marketing error--
Nothing to do with merit.
But just supposing that such an event should hold
Some slight element of sadness, it will be offset
By the memory of this sweet moment.
Chill the champagne and polish the crystal goblets!
The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I am glad.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

march comes in like a baby tiger

This is the sort of headline that just slays me:
Tiger, Orangutan Babies Playmates at Indonesian Zoo

Lord help me, there's a slideshow.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

the face of jesus in a pancake

I totally relate to this xkcd comic, because so far this week, I've looked for meaning in:

1) a bad line from the TV show Numbers
2) spam
3) a friend's inscription to me in her new novel
4) the marketing description on a beauty product
5) a job posting
6) a web comic
7) a Kleenex commercial
8) a Mary Gordon short story
9) Oscar acceptance speeches
10) the drunken ramblings of a fratboy psychic

kafka works at miscrosoft

Twice now, since switching my Hotmail account over to the new "Live Mail" platform, I have made the foolish, foolish decision of trying to contact MSN Support via e-mail to get a bug fixed. (It's not that important what the bugs were, but I'll mention them just to demonstrate that they were fairly simple problems to understand. I could not consistently send active links that remained active when received, and I couldn't scroll down and select an item from a dropdown menu that was not immediately visible when the menu opened. Once I scrolled down, I lost the ability to select. This second problem has been fixed since I first reported it, but my communication certainly had nothing to do with it.)

The way "Live Mail" e-mail support "works" (and I use that word oh so very loosely) is that you submit your question and invariably you are contacted by someone who has misunderstood your issue (regardless of how clearly it may have been articulated). So you write back and say, "Oh, thank you, but I meant blah blah blah." Then you are contacted by someone else - they always introduce themselves as if they will be your own personal assistant from this point forward - and they have misunderstood your question even more absurdly. So you get a little cranky with them and you say, "Noooooo, I meant blah." Then a third person contacts you who either repeats what the first person said or further mangles your question. From what I can tell, this will continue indefinitely for the rest of your life if you don't decide to live with the original problem.

I can't believe I went back for more after the drop down menu fiasco, but I thought I had worked out all my frustration on this "customer service" survey they had sent me not long after the first encounter. I also felt that my issue - when I send active links, the recipient does not always receive them as active - was simple enough. Really. Is there a more explicit way to state that? Is my use of the language so rusty and archaic that I cannot make myself understood? So far, three MSN folks have written telling me some variation of how to change my junk mail settings so I can read hyperlinks when they are sent to me. I have asked to communicate with a supervisor. I want Franz himself; I'll settle for Gates in a pinch.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

friendly skies

I'm loving this collection of vintage photos of stewardesses (and something tells me they were proud to be called stewardesses).

spit always

Radar and Claire Zulkey look at "some less-than-proud moments from the world of publishing" - Ed Koch's Murder at City Hall anyone? - now with bonus excerpts from The Celebrity Poetry Reader!

There's a goat in my ass,
Living mainly on grass.
They say the creature was stolen,
Yet he feeds on my colon.
—From Peace of my Mind, Charlie Sheen, 1988


"You were the better at rolling reefer, I was the better with coke and rum; Remember that night on the beach at Ibiza? The Maori twins with the tattooed bum?"
—From A Glass Half Full, Felix Dennis, 2004
"I am open and vulnerable like a crack in cement"
—From Yesterday I Saw the Sun, Ally Sheedy, 1991
"And do I know exactly why it starts
Slow, and have I those things which live towards the bottom,
In the lower parts
Of my heart?"
—From Touch Me, by Suzanne Somers, 1980
"Rocket ships
Are exciting
But so are roses
On a birthday
Computers are exciting
But so is a sunset"
—From Warmed by Love, by Leonard Nimoy, 1983

Monday, February 26, 2007

for my jet pack

On a rare trip to the Westside yesterday, I came upon this gas station of the future at Olympic & Robertson. A far cry from the filling station of the past:

this I believe

Wayne Coyne on NPR: Coyne believes happiness isn't a cosmic coincidence, but something we have the power to make within ourselves.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

take the money and guess again

For Oscar Sunday, Walter Kirn on David Mamet on Hollywood:

Why most Hollywood movies stink is a big question, but why we go on eagerly inhaling them is a bigger one. David Mamet thinks he knows the answer. In “Bambi vs. Godzilla,” a collection of tough-minded essays about the film business, the award- winning playwright turned screenwriter and director posits a “repressive mechanism” to account for our appetite for dramas that have ceased to be dramatic and entertainments that barely entertain. “The very vacuousness of these films is reassuring,” he writes, comparing them to the expensive weapons systems whose presence makes us feel secure in other ways. These filmed extravaganzas send the message that “you are a member of a country, a part of a system capable of wasting $200 million on an hour and a half of garbage. You must be somebody.”

52 books in 52 weeks

1. The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Beginning the year with this book bodes well. I don't know whether I happened to be feeling particularly emotional around the new year, but I was so invested in these characters that I would worry about them at work and then come home and be afraid to pick the book up because I was scared to see what was going to happen to them but then be unable to resist. To me, this novel had the haunting landscape and breathtaking prose of Blood Meridian with a heady dose of pure love.

2. The Best American Short Stories 2006, edited by Ann Patchett

I have never seen an editor's individual tastes so transparently revealed in a BASS collection. While the stories were enjoyable as always, I think I've met my quota of meaningful childhood epiphanies for 2007.


3. Death of a Writer by Michael Collins

I don't quite know how I came to read this fairly conventional mystery (besides the 'death of a writer' angle). I don't wish for the time back, but I find it troubling that I became most involved in the novel when I came across passages I would have really liked the opportunity to edit.

4. The View from Castle Rock: Stories by Alice Munro

Munro is always a champion storyteller, but I was not sure how I felt about seeing the woman behind the curtain so clearly after all this time. That, however, is my problem. Her facility with the past and the present is unrivaled.


5. And Never Stop Dancing by Gordon Livingston

I reluctantly admit enjoyment of this book's prequel, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, but I should have know by the awful title alone to stay away from this obvious grab for cash.

6. Eat the Document by Dana Spiotta

At first, this book felt too gimmicky, but by the end, I cared for the characters (except maybe the odd throwaway Henry) and enjoyed Spiotta's willingness to dwell within conversations, especially those on music.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

can't really deny the world of their judas

Wondering what This American Life will look like on television? Wonder no longer.

Friday, February 23, 2007

the anti-christ turned out to be mitch albom

Rapture Wreaks Havoc on Local Book Club:

"It's a shame because I think Shirley had the most stimulating opinions, and I was really looking forward to hearing what she'd have to say about [Fannie Flagg's Standing In The Rainbow] right before her ascension," said club member Diane Valinsky Monday. "And we were supposed to meet at Lucas' house this week, but I guess that's out now, seeing as the armies of Satan are on the march."

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Oscar Blog 2007!

As I know all of you could barely put down your mouse to grab another glass of champagne during last year's Oscar Blog, I am sure you are thrilled to discover Ed Champion has done it again: collecting the finest group of Oscar observers* you'll find on the web. Stop by Oscar Blog 2007 on Sunday for some incisive hilarity!

*You should have seen me trying to explain to the Korean guy I tutor what exactly we were going to be doing, and he only understood when he was able to picture us as "netizen broadcasters" (his words).